Paper Wishes
by darkotter
Summary: It's almost Christmas. Kanda hasn't come home yet from a far off war. But he hasn't forgotten about Allen and sends his love in the form of a thousand paper wishes. Yullen One-Shot AU


I wrote this as an early Christmas present for everybody here. Merry Christmas, please review. :)

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_Paper Wishes_

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Snow drifted down from the white sky outside the window, lazily. The fat flakes covered the ground of the courtyard, covering the cars, the houses, the benches. It would be perfect snow to make a snowman, or have a snowball fight. There was proof of that outside the window; a small family playing in the snow of the courtyard. The children were making a snowman with the help of their parents. They were having fun, that was clear to him, even from his upper story window.

He turned away from the family and the snow and the iced glass of the window. Brushed a stray silver strand of hair from his face before he moved over to the bed. He knew he shouldn't be moving by himself—the doctors would get angry—but he no longer wanted to look out the window from the wheelchair, and he was cold. It wasn't like he couldn't stand, but his legs were weak and it was hard to walk for long periods of time. That was why he wasn't going to be walking.

The young man wheeled the chair close to it then stood up carefully, bracing himself on the raised bed. It was the perfect height, and he was able to sit down on it without much difficulty. He closed his eyes for a moment before getting situated, pulling the covers back so that he could be under them instead of on top of them.

Smoothing out the sheets with his hand, Allen couldn't help but glance over at the window. But this was better. All he could see from the glass was the white sky, the tops of the buildings near the hospital and the snow drifting down tranquilly. It was much better than having to watch the family playing. He wished he could go outside. He would be happy with just sitting on a bench to watch the snow come down, but he wasn't allowed. He was too weak; his immune system barely able to keep sickness out when he stayed in the hospital room. He would get a cold or worse in seconds outside.

Allen looked away from the window and looked around the room. It was Christmas eve, and someone had come in to decorate his room, to make it a little more festive. He couldn't remember when they had done it, or who had done it for him. It was nice.

But he wasn't in the Christmas spirit at all. He was missing the one person who mattered the most. The young man knew that Lavi would probably stop by either today, or tomorrow, and try and lift his mood. But nothing the redhead could say or do would make Allen happier. He was sure that his friend knew that as well, but it wouldn't stop him from trying.

No, the reason why he wasn't in a very Christmas-y mood and the fact that Lavi wouldn't be able to cheer him up was simple: Kanda wouldn't be coming home for the holiday.

When this thought crossed Allen's mind once again, he felt a wave of sorrow that he held in by gripping the sheets tightly with his hands. Whenever he thought of his fiancé, he felt horrible. He hadn't seen the dark haired man for several months. And he couldn't come for Christmas.

He knew _why_ he couldn't come, and he accepted that Kanda was needed, but that didn't stop himself from being angry with anything he could find reason to be angry at. The truth was that Kanda was in the far west, in a different country, fighting. There was a war going on. Allen didn't know why or how it had started and he didn't want to. It was probably some stupid reason. Any violent, selfish reason was a stupid reason in Allen's opinion, though. He was completely different from that.

That was why everyone was so surprised that he and Kanda had fallen in love, that Kanda had proposed. Kanda was Allen's negative, in many ways. In his looks, in the way he looked at things, and the way he handled them. When Kanda saw that the only way out of a problem was to fight, Allen saw that there were diplomatic means to solve it.

But they fit together. _Opposites attract, I guess_, Lavi had said one day, when he had been visiting Allen. Allen had agreed with a noise and Lavi had continued to talk.

Allen missed the dark Japanese man so much that his heart ached. But that might've been because of the sickness. The medicine the doctors gave to him made him feel better, but it seemed to put a strain on his heart. They assured him that it didn't, but that didn't change the way it made him feel.

He relinquished his hold on the bed and took a deep breath, eyes closed. He shouldn't think about it. Kanda would come home to him when he could. Christmas was just the same as any other day, right? Somehow he couldn't make himself believe that. He didn't want Kanda to be fighting on Christmas, or on the eve of that day either. That was today. He didn't want Kanda to fight at all.

The snow continued to fall outside the window peacefully and the lights that had been strung up in his room shown merrily. It was reflected off the garlands and shimmered. Everything in his room was so happy. But he wasn't. He reached over to the small table that sat beside his bed and picked up a letter that had been lying open on it.

It was from Kanda. He had gotten it several weeks ago. It was dated a couple weeks before he had gotten it. He folded it flat on the bed, smoothing it with one hand as he reread the familiar words, traced the familiar handwriting with his eyes and often his fingers. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he reread the letter.

_Sorry I haven't written...fighting hasn't stopped...thinking about you...can't be home for Christmas...I love you..._ Allen put the letter down. Those words, amounting to no more than a sentence, came from through out the entire letter, but they always stood out when he read it, like fire. Especially _can't be home for Christmas_. He remembered Kanda promising. But of course, the military doesn't care about loved ones.

He wiped the tears away angrily and folded the letter once more. He folded it carefully and slipped it back into its envelope and set it back to where it had been sitting before. He looked away from the letter and tried to find anything to look at. He found himself gazing out of the window once more.

The sky was darkening, the snow becoming heavier. When he looked at the clock, he realized that it was slowly growing later. He hadn't realized. He figured that the family out in the courtyard would be heading back inside the hospital, that the one who was staying there would have to stay goodbye to their family for today. And they would be able to see them tomorrow.

He closed his eyes against the wave of jealousy that he felt. He shouldn't feel jealous, he should be glad that some people could see their families. But he couldn't feel glad. He lay back in bed and rolled onto one side, so that he no longer saw the window if he opened his eyes.

Allen was asleep before his mind was able to wander to darker thoughts. He had been thinking about Kanda when he fell asleep, so his mind continued the thoughts and it formed into dreams.

_It was raining here, not snowing like back at home. It was warmer here, but not by much and the rain was very cold as it beat down. The fighting had subdued for the night, no one wanting to be outside. Kanda leaned back against the canvas of the tent, ignoring the rain that came down. _

_After a moment of staring blankly out into the darkness, he looked down and took something from his pocket. Careful to block it from the rain, he gazed at the photograph. There was longing in his dark gaze. It was a picture of a young man, smiling, silver hair in his eyes. Then he put it away, back into his pocket and went back to gazing out into the rain. _

_The fighting would continue tomorrow, even if the rain continued. But at the moment, in the loll of the battle, he was able to think of Allen, the one who was waiting for him back home. Kanda murmured under his breath. It was a soft wish. He knew it was Christmas eve. _

"_Merry Christmas, Moyashi. I love you..."_

Allen woke the next morning remembering nothing except for the wish that Kanda had made, many, many miles away. He hid his face in the pillows for several moments, fighting back the urge to cry. "...M-merry Christmas Yu..." he breathed, gaining control of himself.

He sat up, wiping his eyes with his hand. The room looked the same. The lights were still on, and snow was still falling outside the window. The only difference was that an open card sat propped up on the table where he had set Kanda's letter. He picked it up. It was a Christmas card from the nurses. He smiled a little. He knew it was generic, and that everyone in the hospital got one, but they still took the time to do it.

He set it down once more and looked up when he heard a knock at his door before it opened. So he had been right. Lavi came into the room, grinning. He carried several boxes. The largest of the boxes took up most of Lavi's arms and was rather beaten and worn. The others were wrapped in paper and balanced on top of this larger box.

"Hey little brother," he said grinning. "Merry Christmas..." The redhead set the boxes down beside the foot of Allen's bed and hugged the boy, gently. He always did that, the same way of hug, the same, gentle caring touch. He loved Lavi and Lavi loved him, but it was the love brothers had for each other, not lovers. Lavi kissed the top of his head and settled down on the bed.

"How are you feeling?" he asked Allen.

"The same as I have been...I wish Kanda had been able to come..." he murmured and looked down at his hand where the simple ring sat around his finger. Lavi was silent for a moment. "...You have three boxes. You didn't have to get me anything, Lavi. And that large thing looks like it was tossed out of a truck or something. What'd you do to it?"

"I didn't do anything to it, Sprout. You get to open that one last. Here, open these first," he set the two smaller wrapped packages on Allen's lap. Allen looked at him for a moment, then opened them slowly. He had to smile a little. Lavi had remembered. He had gotten him two books. The silver haired young man had wanted these books for a long time now, and one of them had just come out a couple days ago.

"Thanks Lavi," he said. Now he had something to do. "Merry Christmas..." And then he shifted his gaze to look at the battered cardboard box that sat beside the bed. "Can I open that now?"

Lavi nodded and picked it up, setting it on Allen's lap with ease. It was very light, which he hadn't been expecting at all. He had thought it was going to be heavy, because of how big it was. He looked at it carefully, running his hands across the beaten cardboard. He stopped for a moment, seeing the postage.

His eyes widened and he looked up at Lavi, whose smile was softer now. "Is this...he..." he said. Lavi knew what he was asking and nodded. Allen looked back down at the box. He had sent him something? He was afraid to open it. Lavi handed him a pair of scissors that he had brought in with him and Allen cut through the tape.

For a moment, he kept his hands on the flaps of the box, unsure and conflicted by emotions that confused him. And then Lavi nudged his arm lightly and he looked up. "Open it, kid. He sent it to you."

Allen nodded and pulled the flaps open. His breath caught in his throat.

The box was filled with paper cranes. They were made of all sorts of paper. Some were plain, writing paper. Some were made from newspapers. And some were made of beautiful, brightly colored and patterned paper. A letter sat on the very top, with a square of star patterned paper paper-clipped to it.

He picked the letter up first, sliding the piece of paper off it for the sake of reading it.

_Sorry I broke my promise. I remember making it. I'll make it up to you. Merry Christmas Moyashi...This box contains nine hundred and ninety-nine paper cranes. Do you remember the Japanese myth I told you about? _He stopped reading for a moment. He hadn't even realized there were tears in his eyes. He did remember the myth, of the girl who had leukemia and tried to make 1000 cranes. They were good luck. Supposedly, if someone made 1000, they get a wish, and it comes true.

He looked back at the letter. _All of the cranes are on chains of fifty cranes each. Except the last one. That one has forty nine. You need to add the last crane, Allen. And then you can make a wish. Hang them around your room. I miss you, and I love you. I will come home as soon as I can._

Tears rolled down his cheeks silently as he took the last piece of paper in between his hands. Lavi took the letter that he had set down to read, instead of asking why he was crying or what he was doing. Allen let him. He was concentrating on the paper between his fingers.

He remembered Kanda teaching him how to make one, as he told him the legend. He made the right folds, not stopping the tears that fell slowly, like the snow. He finished the crane and picked up the strand that had a small ribbon on it. Kanda had told him which strand needed the fiftieth crane. He strung it on.

"...Wow," Lavi murmured, folding the letter carefully. "Do you want me to hang these up for you?"

Allen nodded, swallowing. He finally wiped his eyes. "Yes please..." he said softly.

"Then you can make a wish..." Lavi said and got up. Allen watched as the redhead hung the twenty strands of fifty cranes up around his room artfully and carefully. They hung perfectly, like Christmas decorations, all around the room. Allen looked around, feeling surrounded. He loved Kanda so much.

And then he closed his eyes. His wish. He bet that Kanda thought that he would wish to get better. But he didn't care about that now. _I wish that you would come home to me Yu..._ he said in his head, and said it softly. Lavi heard him but said nothing as he finished hanging the last of the strands.

He hugged the letter close to his chest. "Thank you Lavi..." he murmured as the redhead came back to the bed and nudged the empty box out of the way. "Thank you for bringing this to me and for...hanging all of them up."

"No problem little brother," Lavi said. "Its the least I can do. Kanda should've shipped himself. That would've made you much happier."

"I don't think he would've liked staying in a box for a couple weeks," Allen said and gave a weak laugh. It had been a long time since he had laughed, and even a small one felt good. He sighed and glanced at the letter. He ran his fingers down it, lovingly, then reached up and touched some of the cranes. Lavi had strung some up close enough for him to touch. He was glad that he had.

Allen spent the rest of the day talking to Lavi, the nurses who came in to give him his Christmas meals, and the other guests he had. He was happier than he had been in a long time. He enjoyed all of his friends reactions and the nurses, when they saw all of the cranes. They all had to touch them and admire them. They joked and laughed. At one point Lavi's boyfriend, Tyki, stopped by to say Merry Christmas but he had to go back to work. He nearly dragged Lavi out of the room because Lavi didn't want him to leave but he finally shook him off and gave him a kiss then left. Lavi came back and sulked a little bit.

Allen laughed through the whole thing. He knew that Lavi was only sulking to make him happier, because the redhead wouldn't be upset about something like that. He was glad that he had a friend like that and when it was finally the end of the day and the sky was darkening, he was able to say goodbye and Merry Christmas to Lavi, and once again Tyki who had come to pick him up.

He watched the pair walking through the courtyard, through the snow that glittered in the streetlights. He watched as Tyki slid an arm around the redheads waist before he moved back to the bed. He was a little lonely, but not as much as he had been. He got back in bed and held Kanda's letter close and was able to fall asleep, all the while thinking about the wish that he had made.

The next day his joy was wearing off. The joy that had come when Lavi had come, and all his other friends and nurses. But the joy that the cranes had given him didn't fade. He gazed up at the them, hope and love in his heart. He got out of bed and sat down in the wheelchair. He wrapped his legs in a blanket and moved over to the window.

A soft blanket of snow had been lain down on everything. He watched as a snowplow drove past, spitting up snow. He watched it drive down the street for several moments before realizing someone had come into view after it had gotten passed the hospital. He focused on the figure.

He was alone, and his walk was strong. He had a long jacket on and he walked through the snow like he didn't care that it was there. And he had long raven hair. Allen's heart leapt to his throat. Could it be...? But how... He stared at the figure as they got closer. There was no mistaking the hair, and the way he walked. He had come home.

Allen got out of the chair, pushing it out of the way. He ran from his room, stumbling a bit as the strain on his legs grew. He hadn't walked for a long time, and hadn't run for even longer, but he forced himself to do so. A nurse gasped, startled, as he ran passed. She called after him to stop, that it was dangerous but he ignored her. His rope trailed out behind him as he skidded around a corner. He ran down the stairs, down to the lobby, where Kanda would have to be.

He ran passed families and nurses and doctors. Some looked startled, some stared, some ignored him completely. Several tried to stop him but he didn't stop. He skidded to a halt, panting hard and nearly collapsed. He braced himself on the wall, looking into the lobby.

Several people looked up from where they sat, and a nurse asked him what he was doing out of bed and down here. But he barely noticed anything around him. His eyes were on the man at the desk.

"...Y-Yu?" he gasped out, breathless. His chest hurt and his legs shook but he forced himself to stay standing. The figure turned slowly, dark hair pulled into a high pony tail. It looked longer than it had the last time he had seen him. His face looked weather beaten. He looked a little tense. And then Kanda's eyes met Allen's and they softened.

"Moyashi, what the hell are you doing out of bed?" he asked and walked to him at a quick pace. He could see that Allen wouldn't be able to stand for much longer. He got to him just as Allen's legs gave out and he caught him easily.

"...I saw you...from the window..." he panted, looking at him. "I thought...you wouldn't be able to come home..."

"I didn't think I would be able to...did you...get your gift?" he asked.

Allen wrapped his arms around Kanda's neck. "Yes," he breathed. "Yes I did."

Kanda held him close. His jacket was cold and wet and made Allen shiver. He didn't care though, just kept his arms around him. "What did you wish for?" he asked in his ear.

"For you to come home."


End file.
